Tag: Rejection

Who Can Really Love The Reject

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Orphans of God by Avalon

Who can really love the reject?

This afternoon I spent more time reading the book The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child”, by Nancy Verrier. While reading it the statement who can really love the reject was mentioned and it got my mind going in many different directions.

We have a problem in the world of adoption. The voices of the Birth mothers are heard, the voices of the adoptive parents are heard, but the voices of the adoptee tend to go by the wayside. Should their voices be heard as well? I think so. Because of the separation that takes place from the first mother adoptee’s deal with issues of rejection. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t deal with issues of rejection. I deal with issues of rejection. When things happen to relationships in my world that are hard for me to deal with I look at it as abandonment or rejection and people have to reassure me that they will always be there for me. Not that long ago I had to talk with my Pastor about some things and he told me, Sherry, you’re the one with the voice crying in the wilderness. That made me think.

I am adopted and I was also conceived from rape. Back when I was adopted so much information in the adoption records were fabricated because who really would want to adopt the rapist baby? I mean really who would want to raise the baby who would turn out to be like the rapist. I have news for people in society who think that babies conceived in rape turn out to be like the rapist you are so very wrong. I have yet to understand as to why when a woman is raped and conceives why all of a sudden she is treated like trash and she and her pre-born baby are looked at as rejects. What is wrong with people who automatically say she should have an abortion after rape. Having an abortion after rape only adds to the trauma that she is already going through. Instead of treating the woman and her baby like rejects why not love them and their pre-born baby.

I am thankful to live in a country where I have my freedoms, but those freedoms could be taken away so fast. It breaks my heart that we have many veterans who are homeless and they get treated like rejects as well. Why can’t we find it in our hearts take care of our veterans who fought for our freedoms? We live in a world where rejection is a big problem.

If we took the time to care about the reject this world would be a better place. Take time to love an adoptee who deals with issues of rejection, take time to love a woman who was raped and love her preborn baby don’t reject them, take time to love the homeless person on the street, take time to love the children who are in foster care, and the list of people who deal with rejection goes on.

Let’s look at Jesus. Jesus rejected no one, but yet he was rejected. Isaiah 53:3 says He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

If no one finds it in their heart to really care about the reject I know someone who really cares about the reject and his name is Jesus. Psalms 27:10 says When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

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Sherry Hensley is a Pro-Life Speaker in Maryland-Conceived in Rape, saved from an illegal abortion. She is married to Fred Hensley. Sherry enjoys inspiring others and sharing her faith. Fred and Sherry attend Bethel Christian Center in Havre de Grace, Maryland.

 

Rejected But Accepted

SherryAnnLeave a comment

Rejected

Based on Mark 12:1-8

As we read these verses, we read about Jesus telling the story about the man who planted a vineyard. We see where the man sent out his servants to collect the harvest, but the farmers killed the servants. So the man then sent out his son thinking to himself they won’t kill my son. Well, the farmers did kill his son. Let us take our focus to the part of verse 10. It says, “The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.”

As I sit here this morning, I being an adopted child have struggled with being an adopted child and have felt rejection so many times. About seven years ago I met my Birth mother for the first time, but before she accepted to have contact with me during the waiting time for me, it seemed like forever. Finally, the day came when the case worker called and said my birth mother was ok with having contact with me.

Adopted children struggle with the feelings of rejection. A minister came to our church one time, and he sat and talked with me and said I struggle with two things, and one of those things was the feelings of rejection.

Jesus had to feel rejected by the way that people treated him, but because he was God manifested in the flesh he accepted and loved the people that rejected him.

We are human, and we all probably have felt the feelings of rejection, but we have to realize that Jesus won’t reject us. He loves us. When we come to him we become part of his family he adopted us. He gave us his name. It’s just like when I was born my birth mother gave me a name, but when I was adopted my parents changed my name. When we become part of the family of God not only does he give us his name but we begin to change because he changes us.

So when you feel like people have rejected you, remember that Jesus has accepted you, and he loves and he wants to change you.

 

Written by Sherry Hensley

My Mother Was Raped Rejected Abortion, God Has A Plan For My Life

SherryAnn3 Comments

Six years ago while on a trip home to visit my parents, I had the privilege to take a four-hour drive and meet a woman who I have come to know. I admire her for her selfless love, her act of courage in the middle of adversity and her strength. She is my birthmother.

Growing up, I always knew I was an adopted child. My parents did not keep it a secret and they loved me no matter if I was born into the family or adopted into the family. My parents told me growing up that when I reached the age of 18 if I wanted to search for my birthparents, they would help me do it.

For many years, I dealt with some medical issues and had a lot of questions that adoptee’s think about. In January of 2008, I decided to get the non-ID information regarding my adoption. My adoption was a closed case adoption.

The day finally came when the packet arrived in the mail. I was nervous and excited all at the same time. I waited until my husband got home from work to open it. That evening in January of 2008, I opened the packet, and we read it. I was amazed as to what I was reading. I read about my birthmother having taught children that had cerebral palsy. When I read that, I was proud of her for doing that. It did not give very much information about my birth father other than on one of the pages in big letters it says, “Alleged Father.” That is when I got this feeling that something bad happened. After my husband and I finished reading the information he told me I want to get to know your birthmother more. My husband inspired me to search for her. So I called my parents, and I told them that I was going to continue to search for my birthmother.

I wrote my birthmother an outreach statement without any names and emailed it to my caseworker. Several days went by and the days felt more like years. I continued to pray that God would work the situation out because I wanted to know who she was so I could thank her for choosing life.

The day finally came that I received a phone call from my caseworker. She said I have talked with your birthmother, and she wants to have contact with you. The caseworker told me that before she could give me her information; my birthmother wanted me to know the truth. My birth mother was raped. The day that I heard that I was conceived in rape, I chose not to become angry or bitter about my birthfather, and I chose to love my birthfather. You may ask why I chose to love my birth father who is a rapist. Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins and the sins of my birthfather. I chose to love him through the love of Jesus Christ. That day, God also gave to me a heart filled with so much love and compassion for my birthmother.

It was several weeks later after my birth mother was raped that she discovered that she was pregnant. When she told her mother that she was pregnant, her mother was not thrilled with the turn of events and gave my birthmother three weeks to get out of the house. Her father had passed away in 1967. She then went to live at a home for unwed mothers, and it was there that my birthmother started her healing process. The question went through her mind: what am I to do with this baby? My birthmother had to make a decision. She had no job, no permanent place to live, was not married. My birthfather, of course, was out of the picture. She didn’t even know my birthfather’s name. Her aunt though had an idea. Her aunt could arrange for her to have an illegal abortion with a doctor in Michigan since this was before Roe V Wade.

My birthmother though knew that there was life growing inside of her womb—Life given by God and a gift from God. My Birthmothers favorite verse is:

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

She did not want to disrupt the plans that God had for the tiny life that was growing inside of her. When she decided to place me for adoption, her one request to the social worker was that her baby be placed in a strong Christian home.

Sherry Hospital2bWhen I was born, my birthmother had some complications. She was in the hospital for a week, and I was in the hospital for a week before going to my foster parent’s house. God blessed my birthmother with one week to love, care for and hold her baby girl, Rebecca Ann. My birthmother and I were released from the hospital on the same day, and she then placed me into the hands of God.

When I got in contact with my birth mother, she told me I have always loved you, and you were the beginning of my healing process. She also said What a lot of people don’t realize the baby that is conceived because of rape they can become a strong healing force in the situation. Why? Because out of something that is horrific and traumatic comes a precious human being and the Giver of Life brings healing to the one who suffered.

Yes, my biological great aunt wanted me to be aborted, but my birthmother chose life, and I was protected from an illegal abortion. God was faithful to my birthmother’s prayer. I was raised in a wonderful Christian home where faith was taught, and it was real.

God has been so very good to me, and He has blessed me beyond measure. God has blessed me with amazing parents, a brother who also is adopted, an amazing husband who I love so very much, amazing friends and an amazing church family.

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Sherry Hensley was Conceived in Rape and saved from an illegal abortion. She is adopted and married to a Minister. She is writing her story and soon to be working to get into Public speaking to share her story. Her website is http://www.thevalueoflife.net

To be Accepted

SherryAnn1 Comment

Acceptance

 

Waking up this morning I thought about being accepted. With being adopted I can relate with many adoptees that struggle with rejection issues and have a hard time with being accepted. With being adopted myself I struggled with rejection and acceptance issues. Within the first 8 weeks of my life I was in the hospital for a week and my birth mother and I had some bonding time, than I went to foster care for about 6 weeks and then to adoptive home. A lot of people make think because I was a baby and don’t remember that time that it should not have affected me.

The need to feel accepted and to be accepted is something that everyone at sometime or another probably struggle with. Not an easy thing to go through because then you feel alone and that no one cares. What we forget to remember is that Jesus Christ cares for us and he accepts us.

I was looking for some verses this morning on being accepted and there are some that I want to share.

Ephesians 1:6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I am so thankful I have a God who accepts me and cares for me. He sees the sparrow that falls and he sees everything that we do and he cares for us and we are valuable to God.

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Sherry Hensley is a Pro-Life Speaker-Conceived in Rape, saved from an illegal abortion. She is also a blogger for Save the 1. She is married to a minister and loves to inspire others and share her faith.