This morning waking up from sleep I was thinking about an email that I received this past Thursday after I had shared the short version of my story. The person’s response was a beautiful testimony of redemption. I was thinking about that and my mind went to the story about Hosea. Hosea married someone who was a prostitute. Hosea loved her and she had a hard time with that and so she went back out into what she came from. It made Hosea’s heart sad, but he continued to love her and went out and bought her back.
Society looks down on women who have been raped. It is sad that these women their own families won’t believe them and there are families that won’t even acknowledge the children. I know my birth mother went through where she could not talk about me to family. She kept a photo in her bible all these years of me and eventually the day came when she could talk about her birth daughter. God saw that many years later I would be reunited with my birth mother and know God is using both of us in different ways to share the story.
Society also looks down on the children conceived in rape. It is heartbreaking that society calls them products, evil seed, and the monsters child. It is sad that society will say that the child conceived in rape will turn out like the rapist, sad when society says that children conceived in rape are not beautiful.
Growing up I struggled with feelings of feeling worthless and when I found out I was conceived in rape I felt numb and I said ok, how do you deal with this? What did I choose to do? The day I heard that I was conceived in rape I chose not to become angry or bitter about my birth father. Yes I was mad and very upset so I prayed. I had to pray for several days and the more I prayed I calmed down. Over time and God using a minister in my church and a 3 part series called Conceived in Rape I-III last august on Family talk with Dr. James Dobson to have the liberty to share my story.
What society does not say is that the baby that is conceived in rape is very healing for the mother. I found it very amazing that we have a God that will use babies to bring their mothers healing. When I found out that I was the beginning of my birth mothers healing process I was amazed and told God that is so amazing you used me even before I was born to help my birth mother heal from something that is a horrible, traumatic and horrific crime.
Sitting talking with my husband today about this over lunch and he said to me our Heavenly Father could have given up on us a long time ago, but he didn’t. God wrapped himself up in flesh came to earth as a baby and grew up to die for our sins. He paid the price. He bought us back with the blood he shed on Calvary a true story of redemption.