Month: March 2015

Redemption

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Sherry Hospital2b
Picture my birth mother had in the bible all these years.

This morning waking up from sleep I was thinking about an email that I received this past Thursday after I had shared the short version of my story. The person’s response was a beautiful testimony of redemption.  I was thinking about that and my mind went to the story about Hosea. Hosea married someone who was a prostitute. Hosea loved her and she had a hard time with that and so she went back out into what she came from. It made Hosea’s heart sad, but he continued to love her and went out and bought her back.

Society looks down on women who have been raped.  It is sad that these women their own families won’t believe them and there are families that won’t even acknowledge the children. I know my birth mother went through where she could not talk about me to family. She kept a photo in her bible all these years of me and eventually the day came when she could talk about her birth daughter. God saw that many years later I would be reunited with my birth mother and know God is using both of us in different ways to share the story.

Society also looks down on the children conceived in rape. It is heartbreaking that society calls them products, evil seed, and the monsters child. It is sad that society will say that the child conceived in rape will turn out like the rapist, sad when society says that children conceived in rape are not beautiful.

Growing up I struggled with feelings of feeling worthless and when I found out I was conceived in rape I felt numb and I said ok, how do you deal with this?  What did I choose to do? The day I heard that I was conceived in rape I chose not to become angry or bitter about my birth father. Yes I was mad and very upset so I prayed. I had to pray for several days and the more I prayed I calmed down.  Over time and God using a minister in my church and a 3 part series called Conceived in Rape I-III last august on Family talk with Dr. James Dobson to have the liberty to share my story.

What society does not say is that the baby that is conceived in rape is very healing for the mother. I found it very amazing that we have a God that will use babies to bring their mothers healing. When I found out that I was the beginning of my birth mothers healing process I was amazed and told God that is so amazing you used me even before I was born to help my birth mother heal from something that is a horrible, traumatic and horrific crime.

Sitting talking with my husband today about this over lunch and he said to me our Heavenly Father could have given up on us a long time ago, but he didn’t. God wrapped himself up in flesh came to earth as a baby and grew up to die for our sins. He paid the price. He bought us back with the blood he shed on Calvary a true story of redemption.

 

Grafted in the Vine

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I am so amazingly blessed as to what God is doing since I started to share about how I found out I was conceived in rape. The other day I have the privilege to share with someone who follows my blog that I was adopted and shared with them the story about finding out I was conceived in rape. They never realized the depth of adoption. I think it blew them away.

Well I have been thinking about the passage in Romans 11:17 If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, 19 You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in.” 23 And if they do not persist in unbelief, they will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. 24 After all, if you were cut out of an olive tree that is wild by nature, and contrary to nature were grafted into a cultivated olive tree, how much more readily will these, the natural branches, be grafted into their own olive tree!

These verses have been going through my mind and thinking about God’s chosen people the children of Israel. Well the Children of Israel turned their back on God, so God started dealing with the gentiles and when we come to God and repent, receive his spirit in us and are baptized in the name of Jesus Christ he then adopts us and we are grafted into the vine. He has given up the spirit of Adoption and we can call out to his and call our Heavenly Father Daddy. I am so very thankful that I have been grafted into the vine and that God has chosen me to be able to share my story and people’s eyes are open, hearts are changed, lives are saved.

Re-homing should not be an option

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Just reading articles today to what to give my opinion on I came across an article on Adoption.net about the Republican Lawmaker Justin Harris from Arkansas and his Wife were formally foster parents to 3 sisters. The oldest one was giving them problems so was return to Department of Human Services. The younger two they ended up adopting. Well problems still continued so less than a year later the younger children went to live with a Family friend of the Harris’s.

This breaks my heart because at least one of the younger sisters was raped.  There is much more the story and you can read the full article at www.adoption.net.

Going to give my input. There are a number of Children in the Foster Care system. A lot of them are there because they came from homes where there was abuse, drugs and probably issues like a child that has special needs.

Children in the foster care system are dealing with issues and they need love, care, and compassion just like the rest of us. They actually need more love, more care, more compassion, more kindness, more gentleness.

Adopted Children also need more love, more care, more compassion, more kindness, more gentleness. When a couple adopts a child that child is there’s legally, they have the same rights as biological children, they need to love that child, need to work with that child, and if the child has issues you get the child help.

I am adopted and I am in a few adoptee groups online and I have read the stories. Adoptees can feel like they have been rejected. I would be lying if I said I never went through that. I did feel that way several times in my life. My birth mother took care of me for a week while in the hospital and then I was in foster care for 6 weeks and a couple of days before I went to my adoptive home.

If you are planning on adopting talk with others who have adopted, talk with adoptees, seek Godly counsel and talk with several different agencies before making the final decision.

Adoption is a wonderful thing and I am blessed to be adopted.  I am glad that my parents didn’t go pawning me off to someone else just because I had my moments. They showed me love and worked with me and loved me as their own.

So my opinion when a child is adopted re-homing should not be an option.

My view on adoption

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Growing up in the Christian home that I was raised in, I grew up being very conservative and that was my decision, not my parents but mine.

Being an adoptee I struggled with things that others may not struggle with. There was a time in my life that I had absolutely no contact with my mother for various reasons. I had to set boundaries and I had to seek forgiveness. Today, My mother and I have a great relationship. I am thankful for the upbringing that I had.

Yesterday I read an article on http://www.Lifesitenews.com about a British woman who became a surrogate mother for her homosexual son. She gave birth to her own grandson.  As I continued to read the article I thought, how much longer will you put up with this Lord? We truly are living in the last days.

Children need to be in a home where there is a mother and a father that love them. I always say that Adoption saves. Truthfully I don’t know what my birth mother would have done if adoption would not have been an option. I am so glad that God came up with the idea of Adoption.

I am for adoption, but I am not for adoption that does not line up with the word of God for families. God’s plan for families is a Father and a Mother and children.

Forgiven

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John 8:10-12 (KJV)

When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

I know that we have all done things that after we did it felt guilty and the last thing that we needed was people condemning us and coming down on us. What we needed was gentleness, kindness and love.

I know personally of two women that at a point in my life came and told me that they had an abortion. It broke my heart to hear this. I listened to them. I never once condemned them and told them that they where a murderer. There are too many people in society that do that to women. That is the worst thing that can be done. I showed them the love of Jesus Christ

Women that have abortions are dealing with regret, feelings of being worthless, and emotional pain. As Christians, we need to show them the love of Jesus Christ, that they are worthy and that Jesus is a mender of broken hearts, broken lives and secret wounds.

I remember listening to a song by Point of Grace titled, “Heal the wounds, but leave the scars.” I have my own set of scars that remind me of a painful past, but Jesus Christ has forgiven me and through him I have been made worthy. He has redeemed me and set me free.

 

Illegal to tamper with the evidence

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The definition of tamper according to Merriam-Webster dictionary is to interfere so as to weaken or change for the worse; to try foolish or dangerous experiments; to render something harmful or hazardous by altering its structure or composition.

In November 2013, my husband and I came home from the church. Our door has three locks on it: the regular lock, the deadbolt, and a chain lock. We unlocked the door, but could not get in because the chain was closed. You cannot lock a chain lock from the outside but only from the inside. We called our maintenance department, and they came out and checked the back of the apartment. They told us that they had to call the police. We were not allowed to go inside our home until the police came. When the police came, they checked out the premises and then let us in. We were told not to touch anything until after forensics came to dust and checked for fingerprints.

I am 100% Pro-life with no exceptions and my fight for the life of the unborn became hotter after I found out that I was conceived in rape. After finding out that I had a biological great aunt that wanted me to be aborted. My biological great aunt could have arranged my birthmother to have an illegal abortion with a doctor in Michigan since it was before Roe v. Wade.

Let’s think about this. It is illegal to tamper with evidence at the scene of a crime in America. Rape is a brutal, hostile, traumatic and violent crime. When a woman becomes pregnant because of rape/incest that baby is innocent, it is created in God’s image, and the baby is also evidence that something horrific happened. That baby, by law, should, therefore, be protected.

In Proverbs Chapter 6:16 and 17 (KJV), the Bible says, “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood.”

It is sad that we live in a world where abortion is legal. Shedding the innocent life of the unborn is an abomination to God and abortion is killing the life of the unborn. I have had people argue with me and tell me that abortion is not murder. It is terminating the fetus. Fetus in Latin means Little One. Once again, abortion is killing the life of the unborn. If a baby who is conceived in rape or incest is aborted, that is illegal because abortionists are changing the situation for worse and are altering the evidence. However, because of the way laws are written, it’s a sneaky way for babies that are conceived because of violence to be aborted, all in the name of convenience.

I have heard stories of women that were raped and then had abortions. They regret having had the abortion, think about that baby every day and miss that baby. We need to show women who have had abortions the love of Jesus. Jesus Christ forgives and heals.

If a woman is raped and is pregnant because of the rape tells you, believe her and love her with the love of Jesus Christ and do what you can to help her. These women need love and compassion and help.

A strong christian home

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I grew up in a strong christian home and I am grateful for the upbringing that I had, but it didn’t start there. It started before I was born. I am thankful that my birth mother saw me as a gift. When she made the decision to place me for adoption was that I be place in a strong christian home. A true mothers love. A mother watches out for her children and the salvation for her children should matter as well. I think my birth mother probably thought about my salvation. She wanted me to be raised in a strong christian home where I would go to Sunday School, learn about Jesus and know who Jesus is. She wanted me to be in a home where Faith was taught and it was real.

God was faithful to her request. God picked my parents for me. My adoptive mother was even my sunday school teacher when I was around the age of two and three.

Being raised in the Christian home that I was in we had the privilege to attend a Christian school from K-12 grade. I accepted Jesus in my heart at the age of 7 in the middle of a chapel service at school.

I am thankful for my birth mother who made the request for a strong christian home. I am thankful for my parents who raised me in the truth and taught me about Jesus.

 

The gift of life.

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What comes to your mind when you think about life? We most likely think about our families, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, brothers, sisters and so on.  Now have you ever thought about what life would be like without you here.  For me just thinking about what life would be like without me makes me cringe. Just the thought of knowing that I had a biological great-aunt that wanted me dead makes me sick. Yes that is a sickening thought and what the devil wanted to destroy God turned around for good. You see my birth mother saw me as a gift, a gift from God. When I first got in contact with her one of the first things she said was “I have always loved you and you where the beginning of my healing process.” It is amazing as to how God can take something that is so horrible and traumatic and turn it around for his glory. It is as if God was saying ok yes you were done wrong to but I am going to give to you a little baby girl to help you heal.  It is amazing God can even use unborn children to help their mothers heal even before they are born. When I heard that I was the beginning of her healing process I thought God that is so amazing you used me even before I was born.

Had it been different for me my parents probably would not have had the baby girl that they prayed for. My older brother who also is adopted probably would not have a little sister, my grandparents would probably not have had a  precious grand-daughter, and my husband probably would still be single. And my church family probably would not have heard  a story about someone who could have been aborted, but was saved and placed for adoption.

I am so thankful for my birth mother who saw me as a gift and chose to share that gift with others. Life truly is a gift and a gift from God.

Speaking up

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This weekend was a wonderful weekend. Spent time with my husband, taking a stand for the life of the unborn, and going to church.  On Saturday I was reading an article on Western Journalism’s Facebook page about a 12-year-old girl who was brutally raped and she chose to keep the baby. As I read through the comments some of the comments made me cry.

One of the comments someone said that she should have had an abortion because it would have prepared her for parenthood. This person also went on to say that abortion is not murder, but terminating the fetus. Well it got the best of me. My response was Abortion is murder it is taking a life. I then shared my story about how I found out I was conceived in rape. The person responded  back saying that terminating the fetus is not sin, just like being gay is not sin. My response again was Fetus in Latin means Little One so again Abortion is murder,  being gay is a sin and one day we all will stand before God.  After that I left the conversation went out to eat with my husband and grocery shopping. Came home checked the conversation again and was told to have fun washing myself in religious beliefs. Religion has nothing to do with it. It is about having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Someone told me that what I said was well said. Then I was called a brainwashed idiot.  Good thing I have learned not to take things personally. I actually laughed.

I shared the story with one of my Pastor’s sons and his response was Well, if you’re a brainwashed idiot then so am I. We both laughed.

I am thankful for the friends that God has given to me and the life that I live.

Being Adopted

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Today while reading some articles on www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com I came across an article about are adoptees being selfish for wanting to search for birth parents?

With being an adoptee myself and having done the search and finding my birth mother, I will say no it is not being selfish. Many adoptees do want to know their family of origin. I was very open with my parents about my search. I let them know what I was doing from the moment that I decided to get my non id information regarding my adoption, to receiving my birth mother’s contact information. I remember my adoptive mother saying that if she was me she would have wanted to know more about her family of origin.

Adoptee’s go through many emotions and feelings that children born into a family may not go through. When I made the decision to search for my birth mother I had to pray and keep myself from feeling the emotions of rejection that so many adoptees feel. I have dealt with a lot of emotions and struggles that adoptee’s go through. Today I thank God for the experiences in life that I have had to go through, because with those experiences I can help others who are going through them.